I’m Billygean.

This blog started as a rubbish journal and, when I learnt NOT to write lists of what I’d eaten and who had annoyed me, gained in popularity from there. It charted the last year of my English degree, my switch to a law postgraduate course, the ending of my relationship with Mike and the beginning of my relationship with the glorious MindReader.

I have a MadFather and a DoctorSister. I am in love with a man called MindReader who, for some reason, loves me back. He carried me up the stairs when I was too sick to walk. We used to live in a tiny flat in Birmingham which I regularly filled with black smoke when it was my turn to cook. In November 09 we moved to suburbia and now we live in a real live house!

The blog has, for a few  years now, centred on my mysterious illness. All we know is this: I got glandular fever (mono to you Americans) in January 08. I was then bedridden from about February to about December. My official diagnosis is Post Viral Fatigue Syndrome (AKA Chronic Fatigue Syndrome AKA M.E (Myalgic Encephelomyelitis)). These ridiculous and complicated names amount to this: there is something wrong with your immune system, we don’t know why you’re sick, and we can’t treat you.

I have, on the whole, steadily recovered from my illness. I am not 100% but I am close, though it is a bumpy ride.

I have baths every day. I am always wearing nail polish. I smell things when I pick them up. I take photos of everything and organise them in obsessive folders. I like watching films in my pyjamas, getting suntanned and wearing woolly hats when it’s cold. Sometimes I eat nutella straight out of the jar. I argue a lot and get on my high horse about Shakespeare. I am pissed after a mouthful of wine and can’t dance. I send about 50 emails a day and am always right. I like making lists. I write about my life on the internet.

33 thoughts on “About

  1. Pingback: MindReader and I later concluded I am aging at twice the rate of a normal human « Billygean.co.uk

  2. Hey Billygean,

    I hope you get well and can start your normal life quite soon. My thoughts are with you as you go through this strange part of your life.

    Keep smiling and loving life.


    Babe. xxxxx ooooo

  3. Hi,

    That copy of Company magazine was the best thing i ever bought! I am so relieved to find someone else in my position.
    Since Jan 2009 i have been battling with what doctors now think is ME(having had every blood test, sample possible and drawing a blank!).

    I am so pleased that you have put the word out there about ME..and i will be showing my new boyf the article as he so doesn’t get whats wrong with me😦

    I will now be a regular visitor here to keep up with your progress.

    Thanks so much,

    Anna (28)

  4. Hi Anna

    Sorry to hear you’re sick. I promise it gets so much better! Feel free to email me any time at my contact address above.


  5. Hi,

    Again as the same with Anna I also found you from your article in Company mag. The doctors told me I had ME a few weeks ago after a 7 month battle with docs/hospitals and my sanity!haha
    After reading back through your blogs it has made me smile that I am not the only crazy one who says/does things that makes my boyf think Im slightly mad. It has also given me so much hope that I can get through this illness that I knew nothing about until a few weeks ago. Thank you for finding the strength to keep blogging and I cant wait to see what the future holds for both of us.

    Love Hays

  6. Hi Hayster!

    Aaah it’s so awful isn’t it. If you ever (I really mean this) want to talk about it do email me. I can’t really offer you advice on how to recover but I can probably kee you mildly sane!!


  7. I’ve had M.E for 5 years now. I’m really struggling now, but when I bought Company and saw you had a blog, it made me feel less alone. Thank you xx

  8. Pingback: Boom and bust « Billygean.co.uk

  9. Hi Billygean,

    I read your article in Company and wanted to tell you about a friend of mine who was housebound for nearly 5 years with ME.

    She heard about a regular GP in Wales who specialises in ME (sorry, I don’t know her name) and got an appointment with her. She had a fat biopsy and they found high levels of a certain heavy metal (not sure which). The treatment for heavy metals is simply saunas to sweat it out and she had to have a sauna every day for 6 months – she is now completely 100% recovered.

    It could be worth asking your GP to do a fat biopsy (they take it from your buttock) to check for heavy metals. Anyway, it worked for my friend so I hope it could work for you.


  10. Billygean,

    my goodness your situation sounds so similar to mine, apart from the glandular fever bit.

    I had a rare disease when I was in my late teens and ever since then my health has gradually got worse. Over a decade later the Doc’s then diagnosed me with Coeliacs via blood tests and biopsy’s which came back as a boarder line positive result. However the consultant decided it would be best to treat as me being gluten intolerant and promised me once I changed my diet my energy and sparkle would come back.
    I thought, great! that’s all I have to do to get my life back? cut out gluten? that’s a no brainer then!
    Except one year later things hadn’t got better in fact they were getting worse and my GP wasn’t listening.
    After changing my GP and going through tests etc again she diagnosed me with M.E.
    That was just over a year ago and although my family say they have seen an improvement I just don’t see it myself but your story has given me hope.


  11. Hello Billygean! I am happy to see you progress. So many know some rules but do not understand the foundation. Therefore, they fail to see the unity of all things and do not understand the language of nature, which is why sometimes what seems to be working appears to stop. If for any reasons things should change and the current method is short-lived, feel free to contact me at http://www.healthisfood.com. Good health and recovery to you! Keep us updated.

  12. Hiya,

    Just wanted to leave a note telling you that I loved the masses I’ve read on your blog, it helped me survive a couple of nightshifts I was unfortunately roped into at work. Funny how normal people that you can relate to can be so interesting?

    Anyway, your X Factor analysis on Hecklerspray was the business hence my finding this place.

    Would love to start my own blog if I could find something interesting to write about.

    Do you think setting the cooker on fire would be a humorous enough subject?




  13. If you want I could offer you a critique of your manuscript if it’s some genre I read. My first novel (which is about disability and chronic illness) will be published in the spring and I would be happy to help another fellow writer. :->

  14. Hi Maija

    Thanks very much. I may well do. It isn’t about illness. I suppose it’s “chick lit” – about relationships – but when I have finished editing the current draft I may send it your way!


  15. Oooh isn’t this lovely, well done you. Love your writing and know what you mean. I am well at the moment and optimistically hope that I always will be.
    I became ill after having glandular fever as a teenager and recovered but developed ME in my 40s after years of nursing and suspect stress and over exposure to multiple bugs put my immune system into meltdown.
    Don’t have a lot of energy but not many people know I’m ill and I work full time as a University Lecturer which is a flexible job and so I can structure my workload depending on how I feel.
    Keep up the good work x

  16. Hello!
    I have only recently started reading your blog, but I have to say, I have become pretty engrossed in it of late!
    I love your writing, and have the utmost admiration for your tenacity in battling to get your life back on track. It must be utterly nightmarish, and I can see how blogging has become your therapy.
    I hope things get better for you, and I shall continue to follow your journey.

  17. Lisa – I’m glad I made you feel less alone:-) that’s really nice.

    Bon appetite – ooh, will try the saunas!!

    Niki – my family saw my improvements before they came too. I would definitely get vitamins etc levels checked as coeliac disease can cause deficiencies and you don’t always get cured when cutting out gluten as you have to put the vitamins back in! Otherwise, do 50% of what you think you can:-)

    Whatwehavetosay and mollymoo – thanks:-):-)

    Neil – thanks for your kind words about my blog. If you start one I’ll link to you!

    Crimpoline – ooh this is inspiring. I’d love for people to not know am ill! Unfortunately my trips to office aren’t frequent enough yet (ie everyday) but here’s hoping!

    Jen – aw thanks, this is lovely. And you got a reference in to my company article too!! Good work. Seriously thanks, happy reading:-)


  18. Hi Billygene, good to read about you and your journey through CFS. I have not been well enough to work for 30 months now but previously I was a lawyer!!

    I find it refreshing to read anothers journey through this wretched “thing” and it takes away some of the lonliness that seems to come with it as so many people appear to think it’s all in the mind.

    I am slowly progressing through the clouds and have some very good days and on those days I do voluntary work which is very rewarding.

    It seems that most of us are fairly driven and that is something that probably causes many of the problems – we don’t know when to give in and listen to our bodies until it’s too late and we’re forced to.

    Keep up the recovery and good luck when you take up your training contract.

  19. Pingback: With every one whisper I love you / I let you sleep « Billygean.co.uk

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  21. RE THE SAUNAS: Warning!!

    For people with M.E. please note these are not “regular” saunas. The excessive heat in one of these could be very dangerous for someone with M.E.

    The saunas used are called FAR infrared. You can buy them online: like a sleeping bag. It heats gently to mobilise toxins, metals out of fat onto the skin to be then washed off.

    The doctor mentioned is Dr Sara Myhill. She has her own website to help M.E patients too ill to travel.

    • P.S the Far infrared is only part of a whole list of treatments. Just doing it on its own could lose you vital minerals/electrolytes and make you worse. Also for the very ill, below 15 on the CFS disability scale it is not recommended Treatments should start slow and build up as mobiising toxins, heavy metals could initially make you feel worse.I am one of her patients. Hoping to get one and give it a go! Please just don’t go jump into any sauna at the health centre if you are very ill!

  22. Hi, I’m interested in your (health) progress especially where the Chrysalis effect is concerned. Could you point me at a blog which will cover this. Keep well!

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