“Ohhhh tea cakes,” I say. “I would love to make tea cakes.”
The voiceover on The Great British Bake Off continues: the chocolate must be heated to exactly 40 degrees, meanwhile the meringues must be whisked over a bain marie…
“You have to move out if you want to make tea cakes,” MindReader says. As we had to throw out our roasting tin after I obliterated some pork ribs the other week, I concede this point.
Coming up, the voiceover says, the showstopper challenge, and the contestants are faced with making a gingerbread mansion. The camera pans over a row of gingerbread Colosseum and Buckingham Palaces.
I sit up straight and imagine the scene: snow falling gently outside. Christmas Eve. Fairy lights lining the window. A pot of tea on the go. MindReader coming home just as I am putting the finishing touches on a gingerbread house that everybody would eat on Christmas afternoon as we play Pictionary.
“That’s it!” I say, thinking of last year’s Christmas cake rock-hard disaster. That wasn’t my true calling. This is!
“I’m going to make a gingerbread house at Christmas!” I say, all in one breath.
MindReader puts his arm around me, pulling me towards him. “You will definitely have to move out if you try to make a gingerbread house,” MindReader says, “so you’d best make it a big one.”