MindReader and I are at OldHousemate and her Husband’s house for dinner. They are returning the favour because we cooked them dinner a few months ago.

For some reason, we are talking about adverts, over a lovely lime and ginger chicken dish and perhaps a touch too much wine.

“Apparently glade air freshners can now look like rocks,” OldHousemate’sHusband says.

“What,” OldHousemate says. “So you don’t know it’s an air freshener?”

“Apparently,” he says, adjusting his glasses.

“But – it’s in a PLUG,” I say. “What rock sits in a plug?!”

MindReader smiles kindly at me. “Not a plug-in one,” he says.

“Ah,” I say, sitting quietly for a few seconds. The room appears to be spinning slightly and I curse being a lightweight.

“Have you seen that other one,” OldHousemate’sHusband says, “with the kid?”

“Oh I KNOW,” OldHousemate says. “it is so irritating!”

For some reason, I think they are talking about a particularly awful advert wherein a child objects to his family’s bathroom and would rather, as he says, “do a poo at paul’s house,” presumably because of paul’s superior air freshener.

I laugh. A touch loudly. “I want to do a poo…!” I say, slapping the table.

There is a bemused silence.

“You want a what?!” MindReader says, looking, for once, actually quite shocked.

By this stage I have realised that is emphatically NOT the advert they were discussing. I push my wine away from me.

“Nevermind!” I say. “Have you seen the annoying werther’s original advert?”

Conversation moves on. But I am pretty sure nobody forgot my – er – announcement.