I also left my purse there!
MindReader and I are viewing a flat. Our lease is up soon and we can so do better. Or – erm – cheaper, because actually, I don’t get paid that much, when you account for how much soap I buy.
“So this one’s nice,” GrumpyEstateAgent says. “It’s got – erm – high ceilings.”
We walk into the property. I realise instantly that I shouldn’t have been persuaded to view this.
It is one room. Including bedroom. Furnished, whereas we need unfurnished. It doesn’t have a bath.
MindReader throws me a what the fuck? look.
It takes us all of 20 seconds to look around the apartment. It does, to its credit, have canal views. GrumptEstateAgent doesn’t say a word the whole time we look at it. I hope he’s not on commission.
“There’s a gym on site just for tenants,” GrumpyEstateAgent says eventually, staring at the floor. MindReader stares at me. It is true that I do NOT need a gym.
We walk out of the tiny flat. “Billygean,” MindReader pokes me in the bottom as we go up a flight of stairs. “We need to have words.”
I squint. I suppose maybe MindReader doesn’t want to spend his evenings viewing whimsical flats that I chose.
“Mmm,” I say.
We reach the gym. It is actually just a kind of greenhouse with three running machines and a weights machine in it.
“There’s a courtyard too,” GrumpyEstateAgent says.
He leads us out. It is not exactly a courtyard. It comprises about four paving slabs and two fake plants, overlooking 200 other flats. The view is not great.
“What do you think?” GrumpyEstateAgent asks.
“Oh this is the best paved area I’ve seen,” MindReader says smirking. “Top ten paved areas, wouldn’t you say, Billygean?”
I think he’ll be booking the next viewing.
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