Hello from the land of not-really-well-enough-to-bake-but-doing-it-anyway-and-feeling-crap!
1. The recipe said I had to cream the egg yolks and sugar together until it was pale and creamy. However, mine remained bright yellow and then my arm started shaking and I thought – the first fatal mistake of the day – it’ll probably be fine. I now have a giant blister.
2. The recipe said to heat this mixture in a double boiling method. After researching very thoroughly what this meant, I realised I didn’t have any suitable containers to put into the boiling water. I rang MadFather and he said to use a bowl I didn’t really like. But it didn’t sit quite tight on the pan and loads of steam escaped which was the opposite of what was supposed to happen. So the mixture (complete with eggs!) never really got warm, but I thought – nevermind.
3. I was supposed to add the creamed coconut but the little sachets remained solid (you are supposed to put them in boiling water for a while) There was lots of boiling water in the double boiling pan and for some reason (I am very messy) I became overwhelmed with where to put the sachets SO I PUT THEM IN THE KETTLE. Thank God MindReader was playing football!
4. I used 50g sachets of coconut (4 of them!) when the recipe callled for 250 MILLILITRES of coconut cream. So I added some coconut milk for good measure. And then realised that perhaps grams and millilitres aren’t the same, but the internet is very ambiguous on this matter.
5. I placed the bowl of weird eggy mixture over cold water to cool it. But how was I to not know EXACTLY how much water i’d need for the bottom of the bowl to touch the water but for the water not to overflow. So the eggy mixture got FLOODED and I had to POUR THE EXCESS WATER AWAY.
6. MindReader has just walked in, surveyed the mess, and suggest we get separate kitchens!