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Compulsive Reading

On two shpping trips in search of gluten free bread

I walk out of the door to my block of flats. I am only going to Tesco, but feeling romantic.

The street is drenched in the remnants of snow; bright, harsh sunlight glinting off luminescent puddles. Birmingham looks, for a moment, like a harbour town – bustling people, fresh fruit and vegetables roling out into the street – and I tilt my head into the sunlight to smile at it. I pass about 20 engagement ring shops – we are living in the Jewellery Quarter, after all – and I confess I do stop for a moment or two, the ring finger on my left hand tingling slightly.

Later, we go to the huge Tesco in Five Ways. An L-shaped monstrosity in which finding the tills is often impossible. There is a Polish aisle, a gluten free aisle, an aisle for Indian cooking, with huge bags of gram flour nestling amongst bags of brightly coloured powder.

Black children, white children, Indian children scurry around the shop while a man in a cowboy hat prowls the aisles slowly. A yuppy couple in fashionable office wear inspect the jams and spreads, while a crowd of people stop and look out of the wide windows as it starts snowing.

MindReader cuddles me in the gluten-free aisle before we pay and battle the city traffic.

Birmingham is, undoubtedly, my home.

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If my landlord doesn’t call me within the next hour I am going to have to have a cold shower

“I want a SHOWER,” I say, stamping my feet. “My hair is gross.”

“What?” MindReader says over the whir of the dishwasher.

“I want to wash.”

“Me too.”

The dishwasher finishes whirring and gives 5 indignant beeps.

MindReader pulls open the dishwasher, a cloud of steam rising out of it and obscuring our views of the other.

“You could get in the dishwasher?” he says.

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Thank God our heating is electric

“I’m SO tired,” I say to MindReader, my eyes drooping at 7:30pm on the sofa.

“Well, we did just move house,” he says. “Body did very well.”

“I know, but I’m sick of being knackered. I want a bath.”

MindReader makes a very English worried-looking face and glances at our boiler which broke on Saturday.

“We could – fill it with the kettle?” He says.

“How many kettles would that take?”

“I don’t know? 20?” he says, sipping his coffee.

5 kettle-fulls barely cover the bottom of the bath. But my hair is greasy and I MUST wash.

“Maybe add a bit of cold,” he says.

I turn the cold on. The bath is full of BOILING water afterall. And then check facebook.

Ten minutes later my bath is STONE COLD.

I dip my toe in. It really is VERY cold. I feel quite stupid. And still decide that ten minutes of coldness is a small price to pay for having clean hair. I get it.

I sit down and begin to whimper.

MindReader pokes his head round the door. “I AM SO COLD,” I say dramatically.

“You shouldn’t have put so much cold in then!”

“I think I might DIE IN THE BATH it is so cold.”

MindReader holds up his hands in some gesture of surrender and goes to get the now-boiled kettle.

He comes back in and knocks over my glass of lemonade which I left on the bathroom mat (sensible). I keep silent in the hope that he doesn’t notice.

“If someone said this is what I’d be doing when we lived together…” he says, pouring the boiling water into one end of the bath while I lie in a ball on my back WHIMPERING as the cold water reaches my scalp.

“Aah,” I say as the warm water laps over my feet. “That’s one degree warmer.”

“Are you more awake now?” MindReader smirks, observing my entire body covered in goose pimpes.

I nod ruefully.

“And by the way I know there’s lemonade all over the rug.”

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Not that I am stopping blogging!

We moved!

And I have found a wireless connection called BT FON which I can connect to and use unlimited internet for £3 a day (until we get ours next week). MindReader wants to know how much I would have paid per day but I have so far declined to answer (£50? £100?).

Photos:


ALL THE BOXES


First night spent on floor surrounded by bin bags


Kitchen finished

“To…” MindReader says, wrestling with the Champagne bottle. “Better luck?”

I watch as the cork comes off and the misty, fizzy smoke hovers above the neck – suspended – and then runs down the sides. MindReader holds it over my glass, his eyes catching mine as I bounce excitedly on my toes.

“To… happy endings,” I say, clinking my glass with his.


And just for you – with his permission – MindReader’s smirk (holding my very tiny amount of champers!)

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