Mike and I broke up on Sunday.
I went to uni today with a pasted smile on. I explained myself over coffee with friends. I tilted my head as I listened to them, whilst I felt the ridges in the paper cups between the tips of my fingers.
I stared at the nib of my pen in lectures, stock-still on the page. I must’ve stared at it for twenty minutes before I wrote anything.
I left campus as the Clock Tower was chiming 5pm. The sunlight was skating low across the campus, and the arches projected alternating rainbows of light and dark.
It felt like early summer. I could smell the blossom and the ferns and the early evening sky was white and whispy and the wind was finally soft; neither warm nor cool.
I walked alone down the path right through the middle of campus, with the sunlight right in my hair and the haunting strains of classical music in my ears, and out through the gates.
And it was exactly as if a chapter was sadly ending.
Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry.
Oh Billygean – that’s such a sad entry. Hope you’re ok.
Chin up Billygean, be strong. Hope you will be alright…
Hi billygean,
hope you are doing ok. It must be tough for you no matter whose decision it was. You do have a new life unfolding before you and it’s all ahead of you but it must be sad too.
Billygean
I’m normally more of a browser type but I wanted to respond and give you a huge (across the internet) hug. I hope you’re holding up okay xx
Big hugs to you. I don’t normally leave comments either but I always read your blog. Hope you’re OK. It’s crap now but it will get better. I hate it when people tell me that but it’s true.
Ask Nik to give you a hug from me. x
Billygean, I’ve tried to comment on here 3 times already today and I just haven’t been able to work out what to say. It all just seems to come out so glib.
You will be ok, but this will be horrid. And there’s no way of getting round that whatever any of us might say. Hugs, sparkles and chocolate to you. x
Oh, I’m so sorry, BG. There’s nothing I can say, dear, except to offer you the same support that you’ve offered me. Whatever you need — phone call, long-delayed tights, etc — just let me know. I’ll be thinking of you.
It does not come as a surprise to me, simply as a reader, as I’ve paused several times in recent months while reading your posts, consumed by the thought that a split was on the cards. Even if, as I guess, it wasn’t a complete surprise to you it must still be a terrible shock. You have my very best wishes.
Andrew
Me too Andrew…I have felt like emailing to say as much and really wanted to say that in my first comment too.
I keep thinking of you billygean and checking here to see if you have a new post or new comments. I hope you are looking after yourself and being looked after no matter whether you were the instigator or not or it was mutual or no matter what the circumstances – as you say, it’s a chapter at its end and that can be hard.
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