Billygean.co.uk

“And Billygean this is -”

“We’ve met, actually,” he says quitely.

I stumble, my drink sloshing over my hand as people push past me and look up into his bright blue eyes.

“Yes, we have,” I say.

There’s an Awkward Pause. It’s too much for me.

“How have you been?” I say. It’s been years. He smiles awkwardly. It’s so familiar to me, the way his lip curls up slightly, the way he shrugs his shoulders.

“Fine, almost a doctor now,” he says. Jesus, time flies. “How’s the law?”

I want to tell him it’s wonderful, and that I’m so glad I finally found a career, especially because I was so directionless and he knew it. I want to tell him I’m really glad to see him, to know he’s okay and that he’s still smiling. I want to tell him I’m sorry.

Instead I tell him it’s okay, the conversation tinged with the regret of a bad decision from three years ago that still haunts us both.

I make my excuses and leave.

Just got back from guild. Quite drunk. Quite cold also.

Can’t work out why so many people are on MSN. Someone’s talking to me but they can’t really be there can they?

Am supposed to read an entire textbook tomorrow. Hm. Perhaps should go to bed.

The night is dark and scary.

New phone does not have an alarm clock. Since I don’t, this is quite disastrous.

It does, however, have a timer.

What’s the worst thing for an already-insomniac? Setting your alarm to go off in 7 hours’ time, and try to sleep whilst the count down begins on the screen right in front of you.

“It was horrible the other day,” Suzy says. “The roads were awful. The M42 was rammed.”

“Where’s the M42?” I say.

“Er, over there,” Dad says, pointing out of our living room window, aghast.

Rob, Suzy’s husband, stares at me.

“Oh my God, Rob, your eyelid just twitched,” I say. “You must really hate me.”

“No, I just can’t understand how you have no idea where you are.”

Maybe it’s because you don’t read my blog, I think.

“Anyway it’s horrible to see pregnant women, on all sorts of drugs and all loads of kids already in care. Alcoholics, addicted to amphetamines, still breeding,” Suzy says.

“She can’t help it,” I say lamely. “You don’t know what it’s like to have a problem like that.”

Rob’s eyelid twiches again. I stare at it.

“It’s about to twitch a LOT MORE,” Rob says.

My friend and fellow blogger is engaged! Hurrah!

Go here and wish her well, for she needs more readers and will be overwhelmed if you actually all go (which you won’t, but hey)